Thank you for your amazing “Ring doorbell system, and its FABULOUS APP ,”Neighbors!” I simply cannot praise it enough, because it has brought much needed “crisis buck$ to our desperate Little Towne.
As the Police Chief in this area, I cannot be more Happy, because your product, part of a noble line of spying-on-citizens predictive policing suites created by Israeli Mossad agents in Silicon Valley, has helped US create two mass shooters in under three months!
And especially Thank you, because one of those guys was clearly a Muzzie, with an unpronounceable name (so we unnamed him). I’m not even ginna name that other guy, because he hates kops! And, predictive policing too.
I think that’s gotta be a record, right, two mass shootings in just over three months! ?Our Little Towne is soooo proud.
And hopefully, the Guinness Book of World Records will put US in there as the “mass shooting kapital of Colorado,” or something even more cool-maybe your PR guys can spin it better than I can, because obviously I am giddy-up-go Happy that much needed publicity, and federal cash will be coming my way after this latest event; and “good outsiders”might come here and buy some real estate.
One thing though: Please have your public relations guru’s downplay that little mishap, where one of my cops shot the actual hero who had DISARMED the shooter, ok?
Trigger Happy Policing isn’t what we’re about here in Arvada. Trust me, it was a one off, and probably G-DS WILL that citizen John Hurley’s last meal was piping hot police lead, with a side of irony. I am sure the Lord will welcome him in heaven, and He’s in all of our hopes-n-prayers.
Thanks again, and we’ll keep the porch light on for ya’!
p.s. I know that “the scientists” are mad about your type of products, but thats because they all hat JESUS!….and pribably HATE cops too! Shatanists, every one of them.